Don't Worry, Be Happy

Last month was a "Wo is me" month. I don't know what it was, but I really struggled to get through February. I have been struggling with work, church, my kids, my communication with Nate, EVERYTHING! There were days I felt like doing absolutely nothing. I know I was a horrible mother and wife, but I didn't care. And then, I got even more depressed and down on myself because I know I should be grateful for what I have, so why am I complaining? Sometimes I feel very inadequate as a human being. I tend to focus on my failures instead of my successes. For instance, I am a little on the chunky side and would like to lose a few pounds. So, I wrote down my goals, posted them where I would see them often, yadda yadda yadda. So 7 a.m, rolls around, my alarm goes off, and do I get out of bed to exercise? Nope. I decided I would like to sleep for another hour. Not only do I do this sometimes, it's pretty much habitual. So no wonder I'm not losing weight. So the next week, I tell myself that I'm going to exercise and eat great, and I fulfill my goals.... for about 2 days. Blah. I was explaining my disappointment in myself when Nate made a great point. He said "Well, you may not do it some days, but at least you haven't quit trying." That really meant a lot to me that he could see my perserverance when I couldn't see it in myself. Every day in February was a battle, but I kept going.

Now, let's go to March 1st. It's like I was a whole new me. I made my daily TO DO list, and I got up early enough to exercise. I ate well, I crossed off my TO DO list, played with the girls outside, did a little crafting, and cooked a fabulous dinner. Not only did it happen March 1st, but it's happened every day since then. I am beginning to think February was just a downer month. I need to file it away in the back of my mind and forget about it.

Does this sound weird? Does this happen to anyone but me?

On the up side, I took these two pics, and they make me smile. I love my two little girls. When I look at Halle's eyes, it seems like I've know her forever. When she looks at me, she is so intense and it's like she can see right to my soul. Oh, I wish she would stay a baby forever. I love rocking her to sleep and just cuddling with her.