Two weeks after my colonoscopy, I had my follow-up appointment. For the news I received, I'm so glad I had my colonoscopy. As I mentioned before (or maybe I didn't mention it, and I thought I did.... hmmm....) I had a couple of polyps removed. One was fairly small, but the 2nd polyp was 3 cm, which is pretty darn big. The dr. said there were some ulcerations on the polyp which was probably causing my bleeding... and the polyp was called a tubularvillous adenoma. Translation: It was pre-cancerous. This polyp had probably been growing for 8-10 years,which is pretty rare for polyps to form that young. The doc was ecstatic that we found it. Had we not, he doesn't think I would have made it to 40. Hmmm.... that news kinda makes you think about life, now doesn't it?
To think that recommended colonoscopies START at the age of 50, and I wouldn't have even made it to 40 is just unreal. My birthday was a week before the colonoscopy, and I turned 29 and I thought I was ANCIENT! But when somebody tells you that you would have less than 10 years to live, suddenly you think that you're too young. I started imagining a couple of scenarios if I hadn't had this colonoscopy...
1) I go in for a colonoscopy sometime in the future, but because I waited to long, I have cancer. Picturing what life would be like for my kids to have their mother doing radiation and chemotherapy wasn't a pretty picture. I couldn't imagine being so sick that I miss all their activities, or having Nate manage a terminally ill wife, managing 3 kids, working, and doing his church calling.... *shudder* Best case scenario: I recover from treatment and live for a few more years.
2) Actually dying from colon cancer. I imagined the previous scenario, but now I imagined my kids without their mother. Ava would be almost 16... Halle almost 14... Colbie 10... I would miss everything in their lives! Their first dates.... their school activities, helping with homework, driving, going to college, dating, getting married.... my grandkids... it seriously all flashed before me. Then I thought about Nate being a single dad... would he remarry? If so, what would she be like? Would he be single the rest of his life? I don't know!!
Needless to say, I had a melt down when I came home from my appointment. That night after everyone went to bed, I just cried in the bathroom and thanked Heavenly Father for my time on this earth. I am ever so thankful for a temple sealing and marriage. To think that in 10 years, Nate and I would have only had 17 years together just breaks my heart. There are so many times when I imagine us as old fogies.... vacationing together, watching The Price is Right together, going to Costco.... and to think it could have been cut short just broke me. I love him so much... and am just humbled that Heavenly Father has provided a way for us to be together for eternity. Yes, 17 years would have been too short.... but there is a next life.
So.... here's what needs to happen next...
I go in for a colonoscopy next year. Depending on what they find next year, I will either go in yearly or every 2 or 3 years. Needless to say, it's not going to be the normal 5-10 years. I'm going to become good friends with the bum doctor.
All 1st degree relatives (meaning my brothers) need to have colonoscopies starting at age 20. Since they are all past that age, I called them immediately and told them to get on it. One brother has his already scheduled... Dan told me he will eventually... and Nelson told me he already beat cancer once, there's nothing to worry about. He's not going to get one... Like heck he won't.... I know my mom will make him get one. :)
My time on this earth is not done. I have a lot of work to do... mostly with my children. They need to know the gospel. They need to know what it's like to serve and they need to learn these things from my example. It's given me a little pep in my step knowing that I've been granted more time on this earth.
