Rain is Falling

     I love the sound of rain. It's so calming and soothing to me. Last night I fell asleep to the pitter patters falling against my window. It was the only thing that soothed me as I longed for home. For the first time in 4 months, I am homesick. I've never had this feeling before, so I don't really know how to handle myself. It was the General Priesthood Session and as I watched Nate drive off to the church, I just sat in my little apartment wandering around, and wondering what to do. I worked on some stuff for Super Saturday and then popped some popcorn and watched "Good Luck Charlie" with my girls... one on each side, but I was still lonely. There is such an amazing spirit in Utah during General Conference weekend, and I was homesick to feel that spirit. This weekend was just another ordinary weekend for Oregonians. Sundays are just another day of the week, and there's just as much traffic on the road as any other day.
     Once we found out we were moving here, I have never looked back. Partly because if I did, I might feel something and not be able to manage up here by myself. Nate and I have had several adjustments to make, and they just haven't been easy. Going from student life to real life is hard. Much harder than I thought it would be. For one, I can't just go and ask my next door neighbor what their major is because they don't have a major. I'm still in semester mode and not continuous real life mode. Real life doesn't have semesters or winter breaks or spring breaks. There's just none of that. Then there's the money thing. While we were in school, everyone around us was poor and just scraping by, but in the real world, there are established families and people who aren't struggling. While we are incredibly grateful for the income we have, we are just starting to establish ourselves, and I can't use the excuse that we're poor college students anymore. Student life was simple. I will always treasure those 5 years we spent struggling and scraping by. Nate and I grew a lot as people, as a couple, and as parents.
     Not only are we trying to adjust to "real life" but we're trying to adjust to life without family. We have incredibly supportive parents who helped us however they could. But up here I don't have my mom to take me to lunch on Thursdays or Pam making me breakfast on Saturday mornings before I go to work. There are no crazy Sunday schedules trying to race home from church to make it to both families. Our Sundays are lonely.
     If I'm having a hard day with the kids, I can't just call up Grammie or Grandma to come take the kids.... I just have to deal with them and wait til Nate comes home. I can't call Grammie or Grandma to pick Ava up from school if I'm busy doing something else, I just make sure that I'm there to pick her up.
     We moved here without knowing a single soul. It was The Cash Family vs. The World, and we're fighters. We can only turn to each other and remind each other that this is where we need to be. The Lord has put us here and we need to find out the reason.
     Please don't think that I'm complaining or writing this to get sympathy, because I'm not. Sometimes in the blogging world, everything seems like rainbows and unicorns because no one posts about the mud and dirt of things. While we are enjoying Oregon and making friends (we have made a lot of friends... we have an awesome ward!) there are just moments when I long for something familiar.